Finding the Motivation to Stay on the Long Road to Recovery 

Addiction doesn’t have to be final, but recovery is forever. It takes commitment, determination, and an understanding that you only need to take one step at a time. We’re sharing the stories of those who are on that long journey to help others find their way.

Matty Powers doesn’t know exactly when he became an addict. But he knows how many years he spent trying to break the power of addiction over his life. He recently talked about the path to addiction and his ongoing work to recover. 

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE >>

Interview with Matthew Powers, CEO + Co-Founder of Power of Recovery

TG: We really want to understand how you've evolved from being a former addict. How did the addiction start? And what was your life like before recovery?

MP:  am always going to be an addict. I have been since I crossed that invisible line. I don’t know when that happened. That’s the scary thing about addiction, you don’t know when you’ve crossed that line. 

You start out having fun as a kid. As a teenager, you’re drinking and smoking weed, taking pills, and doing some coke. Eventually, you cross that line and there is no going back. The old timers used to tell us, “Once you become a pickle, you can’t be a cucumber again.” 

So, I don’t know when I crossed the line, but I had a lot of fun using. I’m not going to lie. In the beginning, it was fun.

TG: When did that change?

MP: My friends always used to say we might have a problem, we got a problem, we definitely have a problem, but it was like a joke.

Then Oxycontin came out. And it wasn’t so funny anymore. 

TG: How did that change things?

MP: We started getting sick and still just blindly going with it. I started going to detox in 1999. I’d go in, do a quick spin, and get out. But nothing changed. I did that all the way until 2008.

I never really tried to get into the program. I knew it was hard work. I knew I wasn't willing to put the work in that it took to maintain a clean and sober lifestyle. I wasn’t really willing to do anything about it until I reached that point where I was just doing whatever I had to do to get one more.

 It was animalistic living. The last six or seven years were total torture. I came to every day and I did something I didn’t want to do, but I could not stop doing it. I needed to put something in my system. 

I was the addict who used 24/7, 365. There were no breaks. I lived to use and I used to live. 

The saddest part is that get to this point where you’re okay with that. 

TG: It became your new normal?

MP: Yes. my normal I thought, this is my life. This is what God made me to do. I remember one day my brother came to find me and I told him to leave me the F**** alone. I told him unless you have $50 for me, don’t talk to me. 

It’s a bad scary place to be. Looking back now, I can see where I put myself in these situations and it’s crazy but it seemed normal. I’d run away screaming and crying.

Now, in long-term recovery,  I keep that in the forefront of my brain. I have a healthy fear of booze and drugs because I know in 30 seconds those situations would be normal for me again. It’s like there’s an inner addict and I can’t let him out. I enjoy tucking my kids in at night with my 11-year-old boy, I can't wait.

But I know that’s all gone with one sip, with one puff with one snort. It’s all gone and there's no stopping. And it's a scary thing.

TG: How do you keep that inner addict at bay? 

MP: It’s the power of Recovery and AAA. Without the two of them, I have absolutely nothing. Without that support system, the friends, and the relationships there, I’d be doomed. I need those people in my life.

When I walk into a meeting, I get some medicine and I’m able to go to my son’s basketball practice. I’m like a cheer dad. This is who I was meant to be,

TG: How do you get to that point?

MP: It wasn’t a straight path. 

It was December 28th, 2008. I was standing in a pair of flip-flops, shorts, and a T-shirt, and it was snowing out. I had $36 and I was waiting for some kid to drive by and give me $40. He was going to talk to S*** for $4 and I was going to be okay with that. 

After that, I checked myself into a detox. I went to a holding after that, and I did something I never really did before. I went to further treatment. I started working on myself. I got 14 or 15 months clean, and then I took my eye off the ball. I took two Vicodins on a Saturday morning. 

They’d been there all along and never bothered me until I stopped going to meetings. I stopped writing my steps. I got too cocky for the program. 

TG: So you thought you were good, but you weren’t?

MP: About six hours later, after those two Vicodins, I was nodded out on heroin on a bench in Chelsea.

What saved me then was I jumped back into the recovery process. That was 13.5 years ago. Since then, my higher power lifted the obsession to use.

I’m human. In the summertime, who doesn’t want to drink a beer when it’s nice out? Sometimes I fantasize about it. But I rat myself out to these guys and girls in the program and it’s a fleeting thought. 

I know where it’s going to end up. A few years back, I wanted a drink and my wife put it in perspective. She looked at me and said, “You might as well open your first beer in front of Pine Street because that’s where you will be sleeping.”

TG: Tell us more about the program

MP: Our commitment is to help people. That’s what we do at Power of Recovery. Everyone who calls gets help. That’s our number one mission to help as many people as we can.

At the Power of Recovery, it’s partial hospitalization and intensive outpatient. It’s one-on-one therapy and all the groups.  You’re learning about what you have, you’re learning about yourself. You’re learning how to combat your next craving, your next trigger. 

What would happen to me is I’d come off the street and they’d expect me to know all these things. But we meet people where they’re at. It’s not one-size-fits-all. What we do is figure out what people need and we help them get that. 

How did you make amends with your family?

Staying sober one day at a time. And, showing up clean. I was seen as a pariah who couldn’t be trusted. It took time to change that.

That’s where your step work in the program comes into play. They teach you how to deal with it. I was lucky and blessed that my family allowed me to come back. Now it’s just the butt of the joke at Thanksgiving. Is Matty going to rob Nana’s pocketbook this week?

I knew when the trust was back. I was at my mother's house and using her computer. It’s 10 p.m. and she’s getting ready to go to bed. This woman had slept with her pocketbook for a decade. I look to my right, and there’s her pocketbook. I asked if she wanted it, but she said she was good and went to bed. That was a good feeling.

I never wanted to steal from anybody. I just needed it. We play with our heads. I would tell myself I know I can get this $50 back in her bag before she figures it out. So I’m not really stealing it because I know I can get it back there. But that never happened. 

If you tell any addict that story, every single one of them will nod their head. We don't want to hurt anybody. It’s the worst possible situation. We call it stuck. You’re stuck. You feel there isn’t anything you can do. But you can. You just have to be willing to put the work in.

TG: What does it take to recover?

MP: If you are honest, you will get it. The only people who can't get this other people who will not get honest with themselves. Everybody else can get it.

I don't care who you are. What you've done, you can get it. It's for everybody.

Conclusion: There is no single path to recovery, but they all start with taking a small step toward changing the future. If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction and want to know more about the potential for recovery, please reach out today.