Finding the Motivation to Stay on the Long Road to Recovery 

My name is Alex Costa, and my sobriety date is April 2^nd, 2012. I got sober at 20 years old. I never had a “legal drink”, and even still, the disease of alcoholism and addiction brought me to my knees.

I’ll spare you all the “cinematic” details of my drinking and drugging career and sum it up in a few words: first it was great with no consequences; then it was great with some consequences; then it was mostly bad with a lot of consequences; and finally, it was horrible and nothing but consequences.

I’d be lying if I told you that drugs and alcohol didn’t “work” for me at first. They worked perfectly. Early on, I thought I’d finally found the solution I’d been looking for. It felt like it solved everything. But it’s a bait-and-switch. At first it feels like the perfect answer, so we keep digging for more no matter the cost. And the deeper we dig, the less it works, so we dig even harder. By the time we finally put the shovels down and look up, we realize the hole is too deep to climb out of on our own.

I’d also be lying if I told you that I found success with recovery on my first shot. That’s not my story. After arrests, broken relationships, countless failed attempts to stop on my own, and lines crossed that I thought I’d never cross – I started my journey of trying to get sober. But even after multiple detoxes and rehabs, I unfortunately kept digging.

But my “failed” trips to rehab weren’t without value. Even though I didn’t stay sober, I did learn a lot about my disease. More importantly, I learned that the people in rehab were right when they told me “It gets worse, never better”, and that I would “pick up right where I left off”. When I experienced those warnings come true in my life, I finally was able to accept that I was an alcoholic and an addict.

Sorry if this disappoints, but my “Day 1” wasn’t very special. It wasn’t the worst day of my addiction, the scariest, the most dramatic, or the wildest story. It was just another dark, uncomfortable, futile, lonely day in active addiction - and I didn’t have the strength to keep going. I can’t tell you exactly why I asked for help again on that particular day. All I know is that I was blessed with a moment of clarity. Some kind of Divine Intervention. I had finally been beaten into a state of reasonableness. So I asked for help one more time.

Then began the scariest period of my life. Early Recovery. The only “solution” I had ever known in my life (drugs and alcohol) was being taken from me, and no viable solution was being given in its place (or so I thought). I was faced with two equally terrifying options. On one hand, I was scared to continue living the way that I was for even one more day. On the other hand, I was absolutely petrified of a life sober.

What I didn’t know was that there was another Solution - a better one. A Solution that worked more the more I chased it, not less. A simple program of action that led me to a relationship with a Higher Power who could not only remove my obsession to drink and use, but help me face anything life threw at me. A fellowship of people grew around me. They held me up when I couldn’t stand on my own. They showed me how to get better.

Now, I could write a whole book about the miracles I’ve seen in my life and in the lives of others since getting sober - maybe some other time. All I know is that I was a guy who couldn’t imagine a life without drugs and alcohol. With all the willpower I could muster, I couldn’t stay sober for 24 hours on my own. When the people in recovery told me I could have a “life beyond my wildest dreams”, I told them they were nuts.

Almost 14 years later, let’s check the scoreboard:

I used to terrorize my family, rob them of their peace of mind (and their money), disappoint them, and break their hearts. Today, my relationships with my family couldn’t be better. They trust me, respect me, and even turn to me for guidance during hard times. I was the best man at my brother’s wedding (and he was mine). I’ve supported them in crisis, comforted them in loss, and shown up with integrity - the way family is supposed to. Most importantly, my parents don’t lie awake at night wondering if I’m alive.

I used to be completely self-centered, thinking only of myself. Today, I help others. I spend time with people who are struggling and try to give them what was so freely given to me.

I used to be lazy, unproductive, and had zero work ethic. In sobriety, I’ve built careers, started businesses, experienced real success, and grown through every step.

I used to be incapable of a meaningful relationship. Today, I’m married to the love of my life - a beautiful woman who has never seen me live the way I used to, and God willing, never will.

I used to be a slave to my disease. Today, I’m free. I’ve traveled the world, experienced life, succeeded, failed, and learned.

Today, I truly have a “life beyond my wildest dreams”.  And I promise you can too.

Above all, I’ve built a deep and meaningful relationship with a Power greater than myself. That Power did all of this - I just showed up, followed the path, and didn’t pick up a drink. He is the center of this thing. I pray you find Him.

Conclusion: There is no single path to recovery, but they all start with taking a small step toward changing the future. If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction and want to know more about the potential for recovery, please reach out today.